I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
