butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
