OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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