Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
