gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He better not be in your backpack
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
