You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize