Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
