so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
