i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
