Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
