i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
