her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize