genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
