I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
