we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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