i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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