with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
PANTIES FOUND
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
