Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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