Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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