great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
