Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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