Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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