I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
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Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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