There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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