So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My vagina is officially offended.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
