Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
