is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
