you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
