Plan B is the new Plan A
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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