My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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