We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
