He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize