Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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