i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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