Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
