also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize
