I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
