You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have aggressive nipples.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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