tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
