Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
