You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
