We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
tonight lets celebrate not being married
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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