i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
