best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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