i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
