I only kidnapped one of them. chill
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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