i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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