were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize