marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
