I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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