Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
