I have demons in me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
