i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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