The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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