Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
