Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Come on in and take your pants off
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