We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
