Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he puts the penis in happiness.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
