you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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