And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize