also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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