just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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