if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Gay?
German.
Pity.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
