I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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