Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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