I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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